Living in eternal darkness
by moonangel3
Summary: Her entire life shunned by those she calls family. The only one who cared for her is the one the others fear. When she's left alone she must find her own place in the family. A fruits basketSm crossover. Usagi-centered
1. Default Chapter

Heey people!! I'm back, finally after a year I have another story. I decided on a Fruits Basket/Sailormoon crossover because there aren't many of those around and I really lik both anime. On with the show!!!  
  
....EEEHHMMM  
  
Oh, right I haven't stated that both shows aren't mine. They belong to their respective owners. Don't try to sue me because you won't be able to shake a penny out of me. ...No really, I'm as broke as one can get. The only things you'll be able to catch are a couple of chewing gums, flies and a huge pile of dust.  
  
Okey, now we'll really begin the story!! ^^"  
  
************************************ Living in eternal darkness  
  
By Moonangel3  
  
Prologue  
  
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What is it like to be loved?  
  
Sohma Usagi has been wondering that since she was 4 years old. Sohma Usagi, younger sister to Sohma Yuki and Sohma Ayame. Sixteen years old and the only real human contact she has was with Sohma Akito. Though cruel to others, Akito is surprisingly gentle and kind towards Usagi.  
  
Do they hate me?  
  
Forever haunted with that question she goes through life. Though Usagi is a member of the inner cycle, none of the others look back at her. They may have not intended that but it's still a fact that it left a mark on her. Every night again she wonders, do Yuki-niisan, Ayame-niisan and the others really hate me. Are they so disgusted with me that they can't even look at me?  
  
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Looking out her bedroom window Usagi sighs. It has been 6 hours since the dead of their clan head, Sohma Akito, six hours of hell. While the other Juunishi were probably glad that Akito was dead, she was not.  
  
'What is to become of me?' Usagi wondered.  
  
It was six hours but for her it seemed like an eternity. Ever since his dead she locked herself up in her room. What's the point of going out when al the others would just ignore her. At least here she could mourn and cry without looking at happy faces. She could still see the room were Akito breathed his last breath. She could still feel his thumb brushing her tears away. But most of al she could still feel the last kiss he gave her before he past away.  
  
*Flashback*  
  
A maid found her at her favourite spot in the garden, a secluded area with a fountain in the middle and trees closing the area of. The maid was send to fetch her by Hatori because Akito was dying. When she arrived she saw that al the Juunishi were already there. Even though they where her family and two of them where her brothers, she didn't feel comfortable with them. Instead of sitting with them she chose a seat in a dark corner, from there she observed each and every member. After a couple of minutes she saw a person she only saw two times prior, Honda Tohru. Honda Tohru, a person she hated with every fibre in her body. Honda-san did something she never achieved, capturing the love and affection of her two brothers. For that reason only she hated her but the fact that the entire inner cycle adored her, an outsider, while she a member of the family was ignored was like a stab to the heart that was already broken. One by one the Juunishi where called into Akitos chambers and each received a parting gift and still she sat by herself quietly observing them. Finally it was her time to go to Akito. When she walked to the room she could feel the eyes of al the Juunishi on her back and she knew that Honda Tohru wondered who the hell she was. Inside the room she had to stop a minute for her eye to adjust to the darkness. When she could see everything again she rushed to Akitos side.  
  
'Aki-kun, are you still awake?'  
  
'Of course, Usa-chan.' 'Aki-kun, you're not really gonna die, right? You won't leave me alone, will you?'  
  
'Usa-chan, you've known since the day you learned about our curse that this day would come. You know that it's impossible for me to stay alive.'  
  
'But when you are gone I'll have nobody left, I'll be al alone.'  
  
'You won't be alone; I'll be always with you.'  
  
'You promise, Aki-kun?'  
  
'I promise.'  
  
'I saw that Honda Tohru person. . I hate her, Aki-kun. She took away what should have been mine in the first place.'  
  
'What did she take away from you, Usa-chan?'  
  
'They love of my brothers and the affection of the other Juunishi. I hate her for accomplishing something I never even had the chance for.'  
  
'You don't need the others, you do know that don't you Usa-chan. You are special and they don't deserve a person like you, remember that.'  
  
'But Ayame and Yuki are my brothers, the Juunishi are my family!! And family are supposed to care for each other but they won't even look or talk to me! I hate that, I want Ayame and Yuki to look at me and see their little sister not some stranger.'  
  
'Usa-chan, I wanted to give you something before you go.'  
  
Reaching behind is back he pulled an out a little box and held it out for Usagi to take. Slowly Usagi reached out and took it from him. Opening the small box she gasped. Nestled in the small box lay a delicate locked, happily twinkling up at her with some inner source.  
  
'Aki-kun, it's beautiful.'  
  
'Open it, Usa-chan.'  
  
When Usa-chan complied and opened the locked tears gathered in her eyes. For in the locked there were two pictures, one of a 6 year old Usa-chan who offered a 16 year old Akito a red rose and another picture of a smiling 16 year old Usagi and a 26 year old Akito who was embracing Usagi from behind.  
  
'Turn it around, Usa-chan.'  
  
Wordlessly she complied. Engraved in the back of the locked was something they promised each other long ago.  
  
When one falls  
  
The other moves on  
  
When a star flies by  
  
The other will know  
  
That she's being watched over  
  
Forever will the memories live  
  
In dead or life  
  
Finally the tears coursed down Usagis face.  
  
'Why does this have to happn to you, Aki-kun? Haven't you suffered enough already. Why does fate keep on hurting this family...why is she bend on taking you away from me?'  
  
'I don't know, Usa-chan but you must remember that I'll always be with you.'  
  
'But you're leaving me with people who don't care for me. I'll be alone again, just like before I met you. I don't think I could handle that, Aki- kun.'  
  
'You can and will handle it, Usa-chan. You are strong, stronger then al the other pathetic members of the Juunishi, remember that when you face them head on.'  
  
'Aki-kun, I'll miss you when you...when you're gone.'  
  
'Don't, move on.'  
  
Suddenly Akito grabbed his chest right were is heart is located and struggling to get some air in his longs. Jumping up Usagi started to panick when she remembered to call for Hatori.  
  
'HATORI, HATORI!! COME HERE, THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG WITH AKI-KUN!!'  
  
Right after she finifhed the sentence Hatori came running in the room. Analyzing the situation Hatori started working. After a lot of yelling Hatori managed to get Usagi out of Akios room and in the hallway were the Juunishi and an onigiri sat waiting. Shooting a dark and chilling look at them and especially on Tohru she took the seat she previously sat in, hoping and praying for Akitos life.  
  
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To be continued  
  
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Well, what do you think? After a year of brainstorming and writers block, I finally come with a story. Please r/r, even flames are welcome, as long as they have something real to say not the kind of stuff that I would just throw away like the 'I hate your fic because the couple is al wrong' stuff like that. I want to improve and n order for that I need good critisme which also gives me suggestion at the same time.  
  
Tanx for putting up with me.  
  
Xxx Moonangel3 


	2. chapter 1

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Chapter 1  
  
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Three hours left.. three hours till the funeral is held. Sitting in the receptionist hall she looked at all the members of the Sohma family. Most of them know nothing of the Juunishi, the only thing they knew was that the most important member of the family has past away. Looking around she saw the all Juunishi members together and of course who would be with them other then the onigiri, Honda Tohru. Wanting to get out of the damn place she went to the double doors leading to the garden. Pushing the doors open she stepped out, breathing in the fresh air. Looking around the garden she spotted the lily, the flower Akito treasured the most. Akito and she planted the lilies in the garden, a symbol for the love they held for each other. Their love blossomed not in the sunshine but in the rain and secrets of the Sohma family. Giving a quick glance at them she walked to a rose bush. It was the rose bush where she plucked the rose from which she gave to Akito when she was 6 year.  
  
'Serenity-sama, Hatori-sama requests your presence', a maid said.  
  
'Tell him that I'll be there in a minute.'  
  
Sighing she wondered what the doctor wanted with her. He never requested her presence unless it was for a check-up. Turning around she went back inside. Searching around for Hatori she saw him besides Kyou, Yuki and Tohru gesturing for her to come to him. With no choice left she went to them. A minute later she was standing besides them looking at Hatori  
  
'What do you want from me, Hatori-san?'  
  
'I want to remind you that an hour after the funeral the will of Akito will be read. Don't forget that.'  
  
'How can I forget ,' Usagi replied sarcastic.  
  
From the corner of her eye she saw Tohru looking at her, she knew what was coming. Dear sweet innocent Tohru was going to try and talk to me. Not wanting to be in her presence any longer she gave a glare to Hatori which promptly shut him up and turned around but before she could walk away an arm stopped her.  
  
'Ano, Usagi-san?'  
  
Turning around she gave Tohru the best glare she had and watched with satisfaction as Tohru seemed to falter.  
  
'What.'  
  
'Ano, I don't want to be rude but can we talk. I mean I just want to get to know you. You are family of Yuki-kun, Kyou-kun and the others.  
  
'Why.'  
  
'Uhm, because I want to be friends with Usagi-san.'  
  
Slowly a smirk began to form on her lips. So this outsider wanted to be her friend, to get to know her. Looking straight in Tohrus face she took a step closer. When she did that she noticed Yuki and Kyou tense.  
  
'Listen to me outsider, I have no intention of ever becoming your friend, I don't need anyone, so you can just walk away.'  
  
'But Okaa-san said that everyone needs at least one friend.'  
  
Looking at her I silently laugh. Everyone needs at least one friend, what does she know? She's just a stupid girl who thinks that everything was right in the world. How she wanted to spit on her. She settled on the next best thing, a slap.  
  
*SLAP*  
  
Everyone in the room turned to them.  
  
'Ano, why did you slap me?'  
  
Looking straight at her Usagi gave her a cruel smirk.  
  
'You want to know why I slapped you? Tell me Honda-san are you just plain naïve or just stupid.'  
  
'I don't know what you're talking about.'  
  
I laughed an insane maniacal laugh. Turning my head a little bit I saw all the Juunishi members at Tohrus side, asking if she was alright. I stopped laughing and walked even closer to her. I saw Yuki reaching out, trying to stop me but Shigure stopped him.  
  
'You know nothing, outsider. All you know are the sweet and kind Juunishi who became your friends. But tell me, what do you know of being alone? Have you ever been so alone the only thing you want to do is crawl in hole and die? Have you ever cried yourself to sleep, wondering why your family hates you? Have you ever wondered why your parents hated you or why your brothers ignored you? Tell me Honda Tohru, have you ever looked around and realized that you where truly and utterly alone?'  
  
'N.n no, Usagi-san.'  
  
'Then you know nothing. Then you will never be able to understand me.'  
  
'Ano, Usagi-san was Akito-san your brother?'  
  
Looking at her wide blue eyes I slowly turned my head towards Yuki who looked emotionless at me. So he didn't tell her. Well what could I have expected from someone who ignored me from the day that I was born.  
  
'No, Aki-kun wasn't my brother. You dear friend Yuki-kun is and of course Ayame as well.  
  
Turning around I walked out of the room letting my words sink into them. Walking upstairs I went into my room and collapsed into my bed. Two hours left till I have to say goodbye to Aki-kun. Three hours till Aki- kuns will is going to be announced and I'll be chained to responsibilities that I don't want. Closing my eyes I pray that this time I won't be plagued with everlasting nightmares.  
  
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to be continued  
  
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Well what did you think? Is the story interesting enough? Do you hate Usa- chan?  
  
Aki-kun: *Glares at audience* 'the ones who dare to hate Usa-chan will pay!! *insane laughter*  
  
Usa-chan: WAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH, I'm mean and scary and and EVIL in this story!!! *Turns to Moonangel* How dare you, turn me good!! I'm the soldier of love and peace for heavens sake.  
  
Moonangel: Don't worry Usa-chan, all will be revealed in time. * Mysteriously disappears*  
  
Usa-chan: Were did she go? I need to clobber her for making me evil.  
  
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Please r/r people!!!  
  
Moonangel  
  
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	3. Chapter 2

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Chapter 2  
  
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'Usagi-sama, wake up. There's only 1 hour left till the funeral.'  
  
'Alright Naru, I'll be there in 15 minutes.'  
  
Giving a small smile Usagi watched Naru leave the room. Naru, the girl was hired just one year ago but she was the only one she even remotely liked. Sighing she pulled herself from her bed and walked towards her closet, pulling out a black blouse and a black skirt that went till the knees. When she was dressed she felt that she still missed something. Looking around she saw the medallion Akito gave her lying on her desk, picking it up with the greatest care in the world she put it on. Finally she opened the door and walked out of her room.  
  
Downstairs the Sohmas were all gathered. But the Juunishi members had separated themselves from the others, they where in a corner talking amongst each other. They all turned their heads when they felt someone watching them.  
  
While walking down the stairs she looked around and saw all the Juunishi around Tohru. She frowned when she saw how her brothers were looking at her, one with love a brother gives to a sister and the other with love and utterly devotion. Turning her eyes away she decided it would be best if she'd ignored them. With that in mind she resumed walking and went to the outer members. Sighing she decided that the best thing to do now was to mingle with the family before she left.  
  
'MAMA!'  
  
Everyone turned their eyes her way when they heard someone shout. Looking down she saw something that stirred her heart. There in front of her was a little child not older than 3 with a small teddy bear and looking up at her with tear filled eyes. Bending down she looked at the child trying to give her face a name but coming up blank.  
  
'MAMA!' with that the child launched herself in Usagis startled arms. Wrapping her arms around Usagis neck she continued to cry and would occasionally blab something out that she couldn't quite understand. Looking at the top of the little girls head she wondered why the red haired child would call her mother. Out the corner of her eye she saw a woman walking towards them. Picking the child up so she could stand up she waited.  
  
'Child, don't scare me like that. I told you time and time again not to run away.'  
  
'Is she your daughter?' Usagi asked.  
  
'No, she's not. I take care of her because her mother recently passed away, her father died before she was born. Now come on child leave the lady alone.'  
  
Reaching out the woman tried to pry the child away but she stubbornly refused to let go of Usagis neck.  
  
'Tell me does this child have a name?'  
  
'Yes, a really peculiar name. Chibi-Chibi.'  
  
'And what is your name?' 'My name is Megumi.'  
  
'Well Megumi, it seems that Chibi-Chibi doesn't want to go with you. So for the time being she'll stay with me. I'll figure out what to do when all this is over.'  
  
The woman looked startled but backed up anyway. Satisfied Usagi turned around and walked to the restroom.  
  
'We should get you cleaned up shouldn't we, Chibi-Chibi?'  
  
Raising her head Chibi-Chibi looked at Usagi and smiled a heart-melting smile. Walking in the restroom Usagi put Chibi-Chibi on the counter and took a tissue from her breast pocket. Tilting Chibi-Chibis head she wiped the tear trails away.  
  
'Now, can you explain to me why you are revering me as mama?'  
  
'Mama.'  
  
Seeing that she wasn't getting anything out of the child she sighed and picked her up. Looking at the child in her arms she realised that even though she knew the child for only 10 minutes a bond was formed. She knew that she couldn't leave the child. A part of her wanted to just leave the child but another part, a much bigger part of her wanted to give the child what she never got, the love of a mother. She wanted to make sure that the child would grow up knowing that someone loved her  
  
'This is going to get complicated,' Usagi sighed and picked Chibi-Chibi up.  
  
Walking out of the restroom she went upstairs to her room. Closing the door to her room she walked to her bed and put Chibi-Chibi on it.  
  
"Now Chibi-Chibi, since I can't keep you with me all the time today I want you to be a good girl and listen to me okay?"  
  
"Mama, Chibi Chibi listen to you. Chibi will be good."  
  
Looking at Chibi-Chibi Usagi smiled at the adorable sight Chibi made, one finger pointed high in the air still clutching her teddy bear. Walking towards her desk Usagi searched trough the drawers looking for something that would let people know that Chibi-Chibi was now in her care. Giving a small cry of triumph she turned around and showed Chibi-Chibi the small necklace in her hands. It was nothing really fancy but it still captured your attention by its simple yet elegant beauty.  
  
"Ne Chibi-Chibi, I want you to wear this necklace. It's something that will let others know not to bother you because you are with me. It will help keeping you out of any trouble, okay?"  
  
"Okay momma, but won't you be with me?"  
  
"No, I'll have to leave you a little while because there's still some things that need to be done after the funeral. You could also stay in this room if you want and get some sleep."  
  
"No, I wanna go downstairs.'  
  
"Alright, but keep out of trouble Chibi-chan."  
  
Walking to Chibi-Chibi Usagi fastened the necklace around Chibi-Chibis neck and took her hand. Taking a deep breath knowing she would need to calm her heart she stepped out of the room with Chibi-Chibi following her. Walking down the stairs she noticed that most of the family members had already left to the room where the service would be held. Sighing Usagi walked through the maze that was known as the main house to the service room.  
  
Everyone in the room turned their heads when Usagi walked in the room and followed her every movement. Usagi Closed her eyes and prayed for patience, she counted to ten in hopes of calming down. Chibi-Chibi on the other hand didn't mind the attention; she looked in wonder at the beautiful yet dark room. Feeling a small tug at her hand Chibi-Chibi looked at Usagi and saw that she was patiently waiting for her to continue walking.  
  
Finally they stopped at the front row and sat down. Usagi was seated to the left of Shigure and to the right of Chibi-Chibi. As much as Usagi hated to be seated next to the inu she had no choice, all the other seats in front were already taken and it was expected from her to sit in front.  
  
Narrowing her eyes she tried to close her heart to the whispering in the room. She could hear words like, cold, witch and so on. It wasn't different from other family gatherings in the past, people talking about her like she wasn't there. Usagi sighed and closed her eyes, even though she hardened her heart small words still wormed there way in. Tightening her hold on Chibi-Chibis hand she reassured herself that while Akito was dead she wasn't alone.  
  
After a couple of minutes the minister walked in the room and started the funeral. Only a couple of people cried, mostly the ones who knew Akito when he was just a small child. Most of the family members didn't really know him and couldn't cry for a person they didn't know. Usagi..Usagi was like a marble statue, not showing any emotion on her face but at the end of the ceremony she let one tear fall.  
  
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To be continued  
  
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I'm sorry it took so long to post this chapter but I'm simply to busy with school. I'm applying to a University and need to take a test and stuff like that. I'm really gonna have a nerves breakdown. But I'm gonna sacrifice my sanity for this story so you people better read and review. And I'll get the next chapter as soon as possible.  
  
Moonangel 


	4. Chapter 3

  
  
Chapter 3  
  
'Usagi-sama, your presence is requested by the family lawyer and Hatori- sama.'  
  
'Hai, arigato. Where are they?'  
  
'They're in Akito-samas study, milady.'  
  
Sighing Usagi turned gave a small nod to the female servant and left for the study. Closing her eyes while she walked Usagi saw images of her past with Akito.  
  
Flashback  
  
'Ne Aki-kun, mite!' A chibi-Usagi held a pure white rose in her hands. Chibi-Usagi looked adorable in a small silver and black kimono. Though she was ignored by the others of the family she was still a very happy 6 year old girl. Most of the time you could find her in the presence of Akito but there were times when she would just be on her own walking through the gardens.  
  
'It's a white rose, so?'  
  
'Mou, Aki-kun you're no fun. I'm giving it to you. It's my present to you, it's a thank you for letting me be with you.'  
  
'Listen up Usa-chan. I don't need any present for keeping you with me. We are family and we're alike. Besides I like you and your presence.' Though Akito was known for his temper and impatience with others with Usagi he was always calm and patient. Not ones did he lose his temper in the presence of Usagi though if Usagi was hurt by anyone that would change.  
  
'Ne Aki-kun lets dance.' Taking Akitos hands in her own Usagi started spinning and twirling dragging Akito with her.  
  
end flashback  
  
Opening her eyes Usagi noticed she was standing in front the door to the study. Lifting her right hand she grabbed the doorknob, hesitating at first she pulled herself up and opened the door. Walking inside she saw the lawyer and all 13 of the Juunishi where there and one onigiri. To Usagis pleasure Tohru was now sporting a red bruise on the cheek where she slapped her.  
  
'Serves that bitch right, she is all that I hate and despise. I'll make her life a living hell ones we're done here.'  
  
Usagi wasn't a bad girl but years of being ignored by those she calls family was showing its effects. And the fact that an outsider managed to make them smitten with her didn't sit well with her. You could say that jealousy was showing its ugly green head. But hey can you really blame the poor girl?  
  
'Ah, there you are Usagi-sama. I was wondering when you would show up. You do know how I miss your presence every single moment I'm not with you.' The man was not smiling while he said that but his eyes were twinkling with an inner source.  
  
Smirking a little Usagi looked at the middle aged lawyer. He was a good and kind man and he loved giving a show to confuse others. Usagi met him when she was placed in the custody of Akito. He wasn't serious all the time and sometimes even came by just to spend some time with her.  
  
'Hmm, well I do have that effect on people, don't I? Let us stop the chitchat Hatake-san and get down to business, shall we?'  
  
'Of course, Usagi-sama.'  
  
Looking around Usagi looked for a place to sit. Not wanting to sit with Tohru and the others she chose a chair in a corner at the back of the room. Walking towards the chair she could feel the heated glares Yuki and Kyo gave her. Sitting down she looked at the pair and smirked at them. 'I could care less what they think of me, they chose to ignore my existence ever since I was born so why should give them the time of day.' Closing her eyes she started massaging her temples in the hopes of stopping an oncoming headache. Feeling as though SHE was the outsider in the room her already broken heart was smashed into even smaller pieces. Grasping the locket on her neck she tried to find some comfort in the ever lasting darkness. Smiling bitterly she wondered how long she could keep up the façade that was her life without completely breaking, already the small cracks where beginning to grow larger with every hour that passes. Snapping out of her thoughts she could hear Hatake reading the will of Akito for everyone.  
  
'As for the temporary clan head, Sohma Usagi will fill that place till a new clan head is born. And it seems that Akito recently added something else. Lets see; from this moment on Sohma Kyo and Honda Tohru are allowed to be present at the New Years banquet.'  
  
It was like dropping a bucket of ice cold water on everyone besides the lawyer in the room. The Juunishi members, Tohru and especially Usagi were surprised.  
  
'Are we really allowed to be at the New Years banquet?' Tohru asked smiling brightly.  
  
'Nani, Aki-kun allows her to be part of the banquet, why? I don't understand... it isn't right. Only those of the inner circle are allowed to be present. Aki-kun knew...he knew how much I despise that Honda girl yet he's doing this.'  
  
'Sagi.. Usagi.'  
  
'WHAT!" Snapping out of her misery she glared at the lawyer.  
  
'Usagi, I was ordered to give you this key. It's of a safety deposit box at the bank. There are a couple of items that Akito-sama left for you. I think the wedding rings from both his father and mother are in there. Nodding her head in thanks Usagi stood up and walked towards the door. Closing her hands around the doorknob Usagi hesitated before she turned around to look at Tohru. 'Honda-san listen carefully for I will only say this ones. Though it seems that Aki-kun had softened towards you and your antics I will never accept you. You outsider will never be part of the Sohma family and especially not of the inner cycle. If I can't be part of them then you sure as hell can't either.'  
  
Everybody in the room looked taken aback when Usagi finally left the room.  
  
'What does that girl think! She can't just say things like that, the next time I see her I'm gonna wring her neck.'  
  
'She does have a right to say such thing, Kyo. Neither you nor most of the people here know what she has gone through. Her life wasn't a happy one just like all of us but unlike us she didn't find anyone who she could trust or love besides Akito.' Sighing Shigure told the lawyer to leave the room. When he left, Shigure turned towards the people in the room. 'Not many of us have actually talked to her and we don't really know her but she is and always will be a member of this family. You see, Tohru, she did tell you that she was the younger sister of Yuki-kun and Aya-kun after she slapped you, didn't she?' When Tohru nodded he continued.  
  
'Even though she is of the inner circle it is rare for any of us to associate with her. After she was born her curse was revealed after her father took her in his arms. You see with already two sons who had the curse they hoped that with her they would be able to start a normal family but fate decided otherwise. After they found out her parents wanted nothing to do with her and we all steered clear from her. Her curse is different from ours and we all had our own life. One day we got word that Akito had decided to take her in and we let it be. I think that it was mostly the age difference that separated us from her. Yuki was 10 when she was born and Ayame was already 21. After Akito took her in I saw her a couple of times, always in the company of Akito. I think she was even there when Akito blinded Toris one eye, though he believed her to be asleep. Over the years she grew up isolated and alone and I think she truly loved Akito and hates you, Tohru.'  
  
'Nani, why would she hate me, I don't even know her.'  
  
'Well I guess it's more our fault then yours. Usagi was always a curious child when she was younger than and still as happy as any child should be. She would always come up to us when all of us where still at the Honke and she would always ask us to play with her but we would always ignore her. Over the years she tried she started to become more withdrawn till she could only tolerate Akitos presence and shy away from ours. And then you came along and you got what she never got, our attention and our affection. You see it's mostly our fault that Usagi acts the way she does.' When Shigure said that he was mostly looking at younger Juunishi, especially Kyo and Yuki. 'Well lets call it a day and go back home shall we?'  
  
'Maybe one day we'll be able to atone for what we did to you Usagi.'  
  
TBC  
  
What do you think? I'm sorry that it took so long but I had no inspiration anymore for this story and I was completely in to Naruto so I kinda forgot about this fic. " But thanks to Dark Moon Lady I was reminded of my duties towards this fic. (Thank you so much for you review Dark Moon Lady ) And thanx to all the other people who have r/r. I promise to have the next chapter within one week posted.  
  
Moonangel3 


	5. Chapter 4

  
  
Chapter 4  
  
'Who do hell do they think that they are. I hate them, I hate them.....I HATE THEM!' After walking out of the study Usagi went straight to her room where she was currently screaming her head of while throwing random things around. 'I hate them; they know nothing, they never cared. I'm so tired and now I'm chained to the responsibility of the clan head. Now they all have to come to me when they want permission for something that they want and that's the last thing I'm waiting for.' Smiling bitterly Usagi collapsed on her bed with tears streaming down her face. It seemed that Fate just loved to screw her up and see her suffer.  
  
'Kaa-san, Kaa-san.'  
  
Usagi opened her eyes when Chibi-chibi was shaking her trying to wake her up. Looking at Chibi Usagi frowned, tear marks could be seen on Chibis face and fresh tears where already forming in her eyes.  
  
'What's the matter Chibi, did anyone hurt you?'  
  
'H--Hai, people where saying bad stuff about Kaa-san. Chibi didn't like it and told them to stop. Demo...demo they didn't listen to Chibi so I kicked one and he slapped me.'  
  
'Who slapped you Chibi.'  
  
'Ano, it was a mean looking man. He had black hair and glasses. And has a scary smile.'  
  
Frowning Usagi told Chibi to sit on the bed while she went to the bathroom and got the first aid kit out. Walking back in the room Usagi was fuming inside over the atrocity of Hayate. Even though he was part of the family he thought himself more important then he was. Kneeling in front of Chibi Usagi applied some crème on her right cheek where a bruise was already forming.  
  
'Chibi it's time for you to go to bed. You've been through a lot today so you need your rest.'  
  
Going to her closet she t-shirt that would be Chibis sleepwear for the time being. After stripping Chibi from her dress and putting the t-shirt on her Usagi carried her to the bathroom, brushed her teeth and washed her face. After all that was done Usagi picked Chibi up and carried her to the king- sized bed. After tucking her in Usagi walked to the door, stepped out of the room and quietly closed it. Turning around she could hear the guests downstairs. While she appeared to be calm on the outside in reality she was seeing red.  
  
'How dare he, that impudent egocentric pathetic excuse of a Sohma member. I'm so gonna give him a tong lashing, when I'm done with him he'll never set foot on this land ever again!'  
  
Walking down the stairs and into the large living room where all the people were Usagi stalked towards Hayate. The poor guy didn't even stand a chance, before he knew what had happened he was flat on his back with a bleeding nose. Looking up he saw one hell of pissed Sohma Usagi.  
  
Outside the living room  
  
'Aya, Tori the three little gakis and I will be going now. I'll be back tomorrow and help with the changes that will be put through, Ja Ne.'  
  
'YOU BITCH!'I think you broke my nose!'  
  
Startled Shigure, Ayame, Hatori, Kyo, Yuki and Tohru rushed into the living room and were surprised at what they saw. Usagi was standing over a man looking quite smug while the man on the floor was cursing like mad.  
  
'That's what you get when you dared to lay a hand on the one who is in my care.'  
  
'Nani, what are you talking about?'  
  
'The girl that you slapped, she's in my care. I'm not very pleased you know. She came to me, crying her eyes out and I don't like that. She is in my care and you know that, the necklace I gave her was enough to warn you people. I know you saw it, everyone in this family knows that necklace, and everyone knows that it is mine. Chibi-chibi was wearing it and you should have known when you saw it that she was under my protection. You were always to full of yourself, you think yourself to be all that, simply because you carry the name, Sohma. Demo, don't fool yourself into believing that you're a true Sohma. You, my dear Hayate-san will never know the meaning of being a Sohma.'  
  
'Don't tell me what I should and should not, little girl. You may have been the favorite of Akito but he's gone now and there's nobody who you'll be able to hide behind now. You're nothing but a spoiled little brat who gets whatever she wants. You'll never be able to achieve anything in life and you're a nobody now that Akito is dead.'  
  
While Hayate was saying all those things Usagi was restraining herself from knocking him down again. Instead she started to count to ten while clenching and unclenching her hands.  
  
'Oh my, Hayate-san will be killed if he continues like this, don't you think Aya, Tori?'  
  
Looking at Usagi Hatori sighed and knew that it wouldn't be long before she would erupt, all the signs where there. Out of the corner he looked at Ayame and Yuki. They were Usagis brothers yet knew even less about her then Shigure and himself. The relationship between Ayame and Yuki isn't that great either but compared to the relationship they had with Usagi it was great. Thinking back he couldn't help but pity the girl. The few times he saw and had contact with her she was distant and aloof. Although the first time he had met her she was an energetic and bouncy 7 year old. She had an attack yet she was still happy but that was the last time HE had seen her smile. After that she was always solemn and serious, the girl he met the first time was never seen again, at least not by him.  
  
'Shut up, just shut the hell up.' Even though it was said quietly everybody went silent. Lifting her head up she looked in Hayates eyes and he stiffened. Her eyes were like hard rocks, so cold and hard.  
  
'What do YOU know? You think only about yourself and care only about yourself. You think that you're all that, simply because you carry the name Sohma, well you know what? You are nothing; you are nothing in this family. You may be rich, which by the way most members of this family are, but you will never know what it is to be a TRUE Sohma. YOU are the spoiled brat, I don't expect people to grovel at my feet, I don't want it and I don't need it. The only thing I want is to be left alone by people like you. Oh don't take me for a fool; I know what you all think of me. Didn't think I would hear all the remarks you make behind my back, do you? I'll give you and all the others in this room a fair warning; give me one reason, ONE reason and I'll make you wish that you were never born, you understand? Oh by the way, if I ever hear you utter the name of Aki-kun so disrespectfully again you'll end up with more then just a broken nose.' Smiling cruelly Usagi turned around and was about to walk away when she spotted our little group of 4 Juunishi and 1 onigiri.  
  
'Well, well, well, look what the cat has dragged in. Honda-san are you back for more? I thought that you would run back home like the scarred little girl that you are.'  
  
'Oi, keep your mouth shut, gaki!'  
  
'Well the neko finally decided to speak. How is it, to live out there I mean. Is it fun to run free out there? What would you do if you were to be locked up like the previous cat?' Looking at Kyo she smiled at the angered look she saw in his eyes. Turning her attention at the others she looked at Shigure. Her eyes softened a little bit, for the few times she saw the inu she could never hate him. Ignoring Yuki, Ayame and Hatori her eyes locked on the nervous little onigiri. She smiled with cruelty especially since she felt Yuki and Kyo tense.  
  
'Lets have some fun. I'm still pissed and what better way to cool of then to see if I can make miss innocence here cry.'  
  
Taking a step closer she looked at all 5 of them, contemplating. Deciding it was best to take them in a separate room and make her squirm would be the best option she told them to follow her. Walking through the maze that was the main house she opened the door to her favorite room and walked in. It was already dark outside and a bit chilly yet she opened the sliding door and sat outside. She loved to sit outside under the stars and in the moonlight, something she normally did with Akito. When they were all in the room and the door was closed she turned around and faced them. The room was painted in a light blue and green color; it reminded her of the outdoors. Scattered in the large room were several sofas all in a dark midnight blue color, a small glass table in the middle of the room and several paintings hung on the walls. Motioning for them to sit Usagi walked to a chair in the room and sat down. She smiled inwardly when she saw them glance at each other nervously. 'Good, let them be nervous.'  
  
'Ne, ne Usagi what do you want?'  
  
Looking at the smiling inu she gave a small smile in return. It seems that she could never truly hate the inu, no matter how much she wanted to. Shifting her gaze towards the other occupants in the room she could feel her eyes growing cold and a smirk starting to form on her ruby lips. Oh, yes the inu she could never despise but the others, yes she could hate the others.  
  
'Tell me Honda-san, do you love the life you have now? The life you lead with MY family? Do they smile at you with warmth? Do you feel loved every time you look at one of them? Do you derive pleasure at the fact that you are accepted and loved?'  
  
'Ano, Usagi-sama I don't understand.'  
  
Looking at Tohru Usagi wondered what the Juunishi even saw in her. She was as dense as the backside of a mule and she wasn't even that special looking. Sure she was kind of pretty but set her next to a female Sohma member and she would be overlooked. Closing her eyes in an attempt to stop tears from frustration to form she took a deep breath and sighed softly. It always seemed to come back to jealousy. No matter how hard she tried to deny the fact that she was jealous of the onigiri it always came back to slam into her full force.  
  
'Honda-san, I'm warning you if you don't give me a satisfying answer I'll stop being friendly. I'm just asking a simple question. Surely even a girl as dense as you would be able to understand what I'm asking; Are you happy with the life you have right now?' Eyeing Tohru like a predator eyed its prey Usagi stopped a grin from forming as she felt the others tense.  
  
'Let the games begin.'  
  
TBC  
  
Well how's that? I haven't revealed Usagis curse yet but that will be in the next chapter or perhaps the one after that. I know I said that I would have this chapter posted within one week and I almost did but I kinda forgot, with the finals and stuff. I actually had this chapter for about 3 quarters done in 2 days but because I was and still am a bit stressed about the results of my finals I lost my muse for a short period. I also want to thank all the people that review, I'm quite flattered that people actually like this story. I don't think myself as a good writer; I've read fanfics which were far better then mine. But thank you anyways.  
  
Moonangel3 


	6. Chapter 5

Gomen nasai!!!!!!! twiddles with her thumbs and bows her head. I'm really really REALLY sorry for taking so long. But I just kinda lost my muse and it took me soooooo long to finish this chapter. Please don't strangle, pummel me or anything that will hurt me. Hugging kissing and of course giving me cookies is much appreciated. I hope you'll like this chapter, r/r!!!

**Chapter 5**

'Am I who I think I am? Who is the cracked girl looking back at me in the mirror?' Looking at her closed right hand she saw blood flowing from little wounds. Looking back up at the mirror she noticed that it was shattered with pieces falling of to the ground.

'Oujo-sama, what happened in there! I heard something breaking, are you alright?'

'Hai, I'm fine. Please don't concern yourself with me, I'll be fine._ I WILL be alright, right? I'm not lonely, I'm not sad.'_ Brushing her fingers against her cheeks she was startled to feel moisture. _'Why am I crying? I'm used to it so why does it still hurt? Why won't it go away! _ _WHY! WHY! WHY! _

_Humph, I've been asking myself the same question again and again for how long? How long ago did I truly started to notice? 9 or was it 10 years ago? _

Flashback

'**_Onii-chan, wanna play with me? Aki-kun said that I could as long as I was careful.' An adorable 6 year old Usagi could be seen running after her brother, Ayame, who was 26. Turning to look at her he only spared her a fleeting glimpse before turning around again and stalking away without even saying anything. Looking down Usagi was close to tears._**

'_**Why won't he play with me? Isn't an onii-chan supposed to do that with their imouto or otouko? Wakkanai, Wakkanai, WAKKANAI!!!'**_

'**_Usa-chan, are you alright? Are you hurt or did someone hurt you?' Akito was alarmed by her screams and came running down the path towards her._**

'_**AKI-KUN! Why won't Ayame-niichan or Yuki-niichan play with me? Do they hate me? What did I do wrong? It hurts Aki-kun, it hurts so much every time they ignore me.'**_

_**Akito knelt down by a crying Usagi and picked her up.**_

'**_You haven't done anything wrong Usa-chan. Those ignorant animals are all fools. Do not bother yourself with them, they are mere ants compared to you and me.'_**

End flashback

'_I wonder what that ugly girl is doing and what my brothers are doing while making a complete fool of themselves in front of her. _

Opening the door of the toilet she walked out of it and straight into the Hare of the family. Looking icily at Momiji she picked herself from the floor and was about to brush past him when he suddenly grabbed her arm.

Looking at the hand which was preventing her from going back to her room and Chibi-chibi she frowned and glared at Momiji satisfied when he flinched. Momiji was getting nervous and when he saw her glare at him he was tempted to let her go but he shook that thought of and tightened his hold on her.

'What is the meaning of this Momiji? In case you didn't notice I am tired and want to go to bed. It is past midnight and anything you have to say to me can wait till morning.'

'Ie, it can not wait till morning. Tell me why are you like this? Why do you act so cold towards Tohru-chan and the others? We are family are we not? What happened in the past that made you act like this. Onegai, tell me I want to help you.'

Looking disbelievingly at him she wondered if he was crazy. Pulling her arm free she stepped away from him and looked him in his eyes. But as she stepped away she failed to notice a male servant walking their way and collided with him. Stilling a gasp Usagi fell to the ground and closed her eyes in pain.

'Leave.'

'Gomen, Ooujo-sama. Let me help you up and……' the very nervous servant stammered out.

'LEAVE!'

'H..hai, oujo-sama.' The terrified servant bowed and retreated as fast as his legs could move. Meanwhile Usagi was trying to stand up but failing miserably and decided to stay on the floor till the pain she felt would pass.

'_This can't be happening. I have to hold it back as long as I can. If Momiji sees my transformation I'm sure he'll go running to the others and the last thing that I want is the neko and the others finding out. It'll be just another thing they can ignore me for._ Go to bed Momiji.'

'Ie, you're in pain. I can't leave you here alone. I'll take you to Ha'ri and he'll take a look at you.'

Looking at Momiji Usagi felt her eyes filling with tears. It had been the first time since anyone besides Akito who was genuinely worried about her. But she had no intention of crying in front of him and certainly to let him see her transform.

'There will be no need. It will pass in a minute, in the mean time you can go back to your house and leave me alone. _I can't hold it back any longer! He has to go!'_

Looking at Usagi Momiji could feel his insides clenching. He was older then her by 9 years and had his own share of pain and bad memories but every time he would look into her eyes he would freeze. He heard about the treatment she got from both Yuki and Ayame and the rest of the family, including himself, and how she grew up isolated from everyone besides Akito. He wanted to help her and be her friend, perhaps become more then a friend. The first time he saw her was when she was 7, she was quiet and distant but still left a big impression on him. After that he saw her every New Year and with every year that past she got colder and more recluse but she grew more beautiful as well with each passing year. There was something about her that both keeps you away and attracted you to her and he was determined to get as close to her as possible.

'Leave me alone! Can't you get it through your head that I want to be alone right now.' Dragging her body in a standing position Usagi half walked half stumbled to a sliding door that let to the gardens. Opening it she fled outside and distant herself from her cousin. Kneeling down she could feel herself weakening by the minute and knew that the game was up, no more hiding and no more running. .

Momiji followed her outside and was surprised to find her down with her head bowed. Slowly as if the task drained her of her remaining strength Usagi moved her head up until she was looking Momiji straight in the eyes.

'You said you wanted to help me. You wonder why I'm so closed of and what happened in the past to make me this way. You are unable to understand my hatred towards Honda-san. You say we are family but are we really?'

Unable to say anything Momiji just stood there frozen as one by one sparkling teardrops rolled down Usagis face and on the green grass. Wanting to do something he reached out to her and took a step forward but stopped dead in his tracks when Usagi gasped painfully.

Arching her back Usagi cried out in pain as something was trying to force its way out. As quick as the sharp pain came it left.

Momiji couldn't believe his eyes. Sure the Sohmas were cursed but he never heard of this kind of curse. When Usagi arched her back Momiji started to run towards her but stopped when two magnificent black wings burst from her back tearing the back of her blouse. From where he stood he could see that the wings were probably soft to the touch and they were just beautiful. kneeling there in the moonlight Usagi appeared to be a fallen angel with the black wings.

The moon was glowing softly and looking down at two hurt and scarred people. A soft wind blew past them and with took with it feathers from the wind. Taken away the feathers danced as if trying to cheer the person they belong to up.

On that silent and moonlit night two souls of the same house found each other. Only they didn't know yet and easy it won't be.

_**To be continued**_

I just adore Momiji-kun, don't you? He's just so cute and adorable and did I mention cute? I'm thinking of pairing him with Usagi, the poor girl needs him in her life. Buuuuuuttttt, if you have other thoughts on that and want to see her paired with another person just say it and I'll consider it. Oh, do give me a reason as to way you want them paired, if you have pairings for other couples just say so and I'll look if I want to divert some of the storyline to other characters and pairings.

Moonangel give you much love!!!!!!! wink wink


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